Infinite Cosmic Cafeteria Chapter 30: No. 6

Translator: Stellar Novels Editor: Stellar Novels

Today, Ma Lu and Old Wang went out early and closed their stall before 4 PM.

As soon as he got home, Ma Lu headed straight for the Switch, but when he picked up the controller, something felt off.

Wait, where’s my TV?

Ma Lu had ordered a new TV but hadn’t dealt with the old one since it belonged to the landlord. He planned to find a place to store it once the new TV arrived.

But now, the new TV hadn’t arrived yet, and the old TV was already gone, leaving the TV stand completely empty.

Could there have been a burglary?!

Ma Lu gave Old Wang a look, then went to the kitchen to grab a kitchen knife. However, after turning the house upside down, they didn’t find any intruders.

Moreover, the doors and windows were perfectly intact, showing no signs of forced entry.

But the TV was indeed missing.

Ma Lu finally turned his gaze to the old washing machine on the balcony. If there was anything different about the rental house today, it was the presence of this unknown washing machine.

Although it seemed unbelievable, Ma Lu felt that the washing machine was the most suspicious object in the house.

“Is there a washing machine in the multiverse that likes to steal TVs?”

“Never heard of it,” Old Wang shook his head.

“Aren’t you a silicon-based life form? It looks like a silicon-based life form too. Can you communicate with it? Why don’t you ask it?”

“You’re a carbon-based life form, and so is the cat living in the flower bed outside. Can you talk to it?”

“Good point. Then there’s only one solution.”

“What solution?”

“Take it apart.” Ma Lu said as he pulled out his toolbox.

The washing machine on the balcony, which hadn’t been plugged in, suddenly started spinning its drum upon hearing those words.

“I knew it.” Ma Lu smirked, “Looks like we’ve found the thief.”

He approached with a wrench, but Old Wang stopped him, saying, “Wait, it seems like it wants to say something.”

“Oh, so now you can suddenly understand washing machine talk.”

“No, the frequency of the drum’s spinning resembles a universal code used in the multiverse.”

Old Wang listened for a while, then turned to Ma Lu, “Your Collection Bag can be upgraded.”

“It’s a Craftsman?” Ma Lu asked in surprise, “The Craftsman is a washing machine?”

“No, it’s just one of the Craftsman’s creations, capable of performing some of the Craftsman’s tasks. Craftsmen are a mysterious group; they rarely reveal their true forms to others.”

Old Wang paused, “But one thing is certain: there’s a Craftsman residing on this planet.”

“So you’re not the first interdimensional traveler to come here?”

Ma Lu suddenly felt unfamiliar with the world he thought he knew well.

Besides Old Wang and the Craftsman, could there be other visitors from different universes on Earth? And among these people, were there any bad ones?

But then Ma Lu remembered that he wasn’t a government official, just a street vendor selling snacks on a tricycle. This wasn’t his problem to worry about.

“Ask it where it hid our TV.”

“It says it’s already eaten it.”

“What?”

“The Craftsman received a signal from the secret key but wouldn’t show up in person, so they sent this machine. It says it’s a service fee.”

“Disguising itself as a delivery, sneaking in when we weren’t home, and secretly eating the TV, then using industry norms as an excuse when caught—it probably thinks we won’t be able to meet that mysterious Craftsman anyway, so we can’t verify the truth.”

Ma Lu fiddled with the wrench in his hand, “It seems like the so-called service fee is something it’s collecting on its own and has nothing to do with the Craftsman. And there’s another possibility…”

“What possibility?”

"This thing has nothing to do with the Craftsman. It must have intercepted the signal you sent when calling the Craftsman or eavesdropped on our conversation that night and then pretended to be a creation of the Craftsman to scam us for food.

“I remember you said that our chances of meeting a Craftsman were less than one in a hundred trillion. Thinking about that, its appearance becomes even more suspicious. In my opinion, we should take it apart first and study it…”

Before Ma Lu could finish, the washing machine next to him started shaking violently, as if it had suddenly gone into spin-dry mode.

“It says it can upgrade one piece of your equipment for free as compensation for eating the TV,” Old Wang translated.

“Deal.” Ma Lu put away the wrench, his face returning to a warm smile.

He took out the Collection Bag, placed it inside the right drum of the washing machine as Old Wang had instructed, closed the top lid, and set the timer to 15. He could hear the sound of water being released inside.

The old washing machine, which wasn’t connected to water or electricity, began working as if it were a real washing machine.

When the timer dialed back to zero, the top lid popped open automatically, and the Collection Bag was spat out.

Ma Lu didn’t know if it was his imagination, but it seemed like the washing machine had weakened considerably in that instant. It looked rustier, shrinking feebly in the corner.

“Is that it?” Ma Lu picked up the Collection Bag from the ground.

“I can’t remember the last time I dealt with a Craftsman.”
"Can you ask it how the upgrade went and why it looks like it's having kidney problems?"
"I don't think it has kidneys," Old Wang said seriously. "Kidneys aren't exactly relevant for silicon-based life forms…"
(Translator's Note: The word used is 肾虚 which means weak kidneys but can also just mean worn out/tired)
“I know, I know, it’s just a metaphor,” Ma Lu quickly interrupted.

The old TV was gone, and the new TV hadn’t arrived yet, but at least tonight wouldn’t be boring.

With Old Wang acting as a translator, Ma Lu had an in-depth conversation with the washing machine on the balcony, which called itself No. 6.

Old Wang couldn’t be sure if No. 6 qualified as a life form, but it clearly had self-awareness.

Its intelligence level wasn’t low, roughly equivalent to that of a Border Collie. It could understand human language but couldn’t speak, relying on universal codes to communicate.

What was even more amazing was that No. 6 could move—using the traditional movement method of a washing machine, shaking its drum to propel itself.

Although it moved slowly and made a lot of noise, it had used this method to eat the TV from the stand, then clunked its way back to the balcony, pretending nothing had happened.

As for why it ate the TV, the reason was simple—it was hungry.

Designed by the Craftsman as a lazy tool, No. 6 was given two functions from the moment it was created: repair and upgrade, corresponding to its two drums.

However, using these functions came at a cost. Just like Old Wang and Insect Egg need to recharge, No. 6 has to eat to accumulate repair and upgrade points.

Moreover, No. 6 didn’t eat the TV itself but consumed the Old-New value behind the TV."

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