Thursday, October 24, 2024

Infinite Cosmic Cafeteria Chapter 57: City Administrator

Translator: Stellar Novels Editor: Stellar Novels

“What happened?”

Old Wang noticed Ma Lu sneaking out of the kitchen and asked.

Ma Lu lowered his voice, “About the pigeons, I think you were right. I spotted a pigeon on the opposite building, and I think it’s watching us.”

“No, that’s just an ordinary pigeon,” Old Wang shook his head.

“Huh?”

Ma Lu felt a bit embarrassed. “Alright.”

Just then, the oven timer went off. Ma Lu rinsed his mouth, spat out the toothpaste foam, and was about to go back to the kitchen to eat his bread. But after taking a couple of steps, he paused, looking suspicious.

“Wait a minute, you haven’t even seen that pigeon. How are you so sure it’s not watching us?”

“Because I met the one that’s actually watching us last night,” Old Wang replied. “And strictly speaking, he’s not a pigeon.”

???

Ma Lu took a sharp breath. “So someone really has been monitoring us? How long has this been going on?”

“Four days,” Old Wang said. “He’s been watching us since we first encountered the city management.”

“Damn, how did I not notice anything before?”

“There are a lot of pigeons on this planet. Based on my observations, most humans don’t pay attention to the pigeons around them. In a way, pigeons are practically invisible in your society, so I can understand why he would choose a pigeon as his operating form.”

“Who is he, and why is he watching us?” Ma Lu asked.

But this time, Old Wang didn’t answer directly. Instead, he said, “You can ask him yourself. Last night, after you fell asleep, we had a brief chat and agreed to discuss things further once you were awake. Judging by the time, he should be here soon.”

As they spoke, a slate-gray pigeon landed on the railing outside the balcony.

Ma Lu walked to the balcony, opened the window, and awkwardly invited, “Uh… come in and have a seat?”

The gray pigeon only tilted its head and stared at him, not moving an inch. It then let out a series of cooing sounds.

“I suspect it’s swearing at us,” Ma Lu whispered to Old Wang, “but I have no proof.”

“It’s just unsure if you’ll harm it.”

A voice answered, but it wasn’t Old Wang who spoke—it was another pigeon, this one white.

The white pigeon flew in through the open window, folded its wings, and landed gracefully on the living room sofa.

“Wow, you can actually speak!”

Ma Lu was surprised, especially since he wasn’t wearing his Traveler’s Bracelet, which meant he wasn’t using its translation feature.

This meant that the pigeon wasn’t just communicating telepathically; it genuinely spoke Mandarin, and its voice was quite pleasant, sounding a lot like Andy Lau.

“No, I’m currently communicating with you through telepathy. Given my current physiological structure, I can’t produce sounds like humans do. If you don’t like my current voice, I can switch to another.”

The white pigeon said, and soon Ma Lu’s mind was filled with a doll-like voice resembling Lin Chi-ling: “Ready to depart, the distance is 2.1 kilometers, and it will take about 10 minutes...”

“Stop, switch back to the Andy Lau version,” Ma Lu requested.

“Alright,” the white pigeon complied easily.

Ma Lu suddenly had another idea. “How about the Guo Degang version?”

The white pigeon seemed to hesitate for a moment but then responded half a second later.

“Quite a crowd today, I’m pleased. Thank you all for coming; you’re the bread and butter of our business…”

Ma Lu gave a thumbs up. “Cool!”

(Translator's Note: They’re all famous actors/actresses in China)

The white pigeon’s expression seemed somewhat annoyed. “Can we get to the main topic now?”

"Of course, of course."

“You can call me the City Administrator.”

“City Administrator?”

“That’s right,” the white pigeon nodded slightly. “I oversee the interdimensional visitors living in this city, regulate their behavior, ensure they don’t do anything out of line, resolve any trouble they cause, and conceal their existence from the native inhabitants.”

“Oh, so you’re from an official organization dedicated to handling these matters.”

“No,” the white pigeon replied. “Your dimension lies outside the Great Alliance’s sphere, in a corner that official institutions don’t pay attention to. As far as I know, the Great Alliance has never sent any officials to this planet.

“Uh… is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“That depends on your perspective. For wanderers, refugees, libertarians, and those who just want peace, it’s probably a good thing. On the other hand, for others, it’s not.”

Ma Lu noticed that as the white pigeon said this, it glanced at Old Wang before continuing.

“However, even for anarchists, some degree of order is still necessary. My colleagues and I exist to ensure that order.

“You’re an Earthling, and by the rules, I shouldn’t be revealing my identity or these matters to you. But your roommate, the Cosmic Chef here, insists that you’re an important collaborator, critical to his ingredient supply.

“After careful consideration, I’ve decided to allow—”

“Hold on a second,” Ma Lu interrupted the pigeon. “You just said you’re not an official organization, so why are you speaking in all this formal language?”

“To demonstrate our professionalism,” the white pigeon said proudly.

“Let me sum it up: there’s a shortage of Cosmic Chefs in this dimension, so you need us. That long speech of yours was just to convey that, right?”

The white pigeon fell silent.

“Alright, I hope we can work well together in the future.” Ma Lu extended his hand with a bright smile.

Reluctantly, the white pigeon extended a wing and shook Ma Lu’s hand.

“I’ve resolved the issue with you guys racing your tricycle at 200 km/h in front of countless surveillance cameras, but you’d better be more mindful of your actions in the future.”

“We’re on the same page.” Ma Lu said, pouring a cup of tea for the pigeon.

The pigeon shook its head.

So Ma Lu went to the kitchen, retrieved the buttered bread he had baked earlier, and broke off a piece, placing it in front of the pigeon.

The white pigeon finally seemed satisfied and pecked at the bread.

Ma Lu continued, “Here’s the thing, Pigeon Bro, we’ve realized that continuing to run a street stall increases our risk of exposure. So we plan to rent a place and open a shop, that way we won’t have to keep dodging city management. But there’s still one problem.

“You know our ingredients are a bit… special. If people discover that we’re transporting ingredients from other universes, it might add to your workload.”

The pigeon listened while eating, fully aware of Ma Lu’s intentions, and resumed its earlier haughty demeanor.

Just as it was about to speak, it suddenly shivered, and an unexpected white substance appeared on the sofa.

The atmosphere grew tense.

The two humans and the pigeon stared at each other, wide-eyed.

Finally, Ma Lu broke the silence, “It’s okay, it’s okay, I get it—physiology. I know all about birds having straight digestive tracts. I’ll put down some paper; you keep eating, Pigeon Bro.”

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